Feeling stuck in self sabotosh? Looking for external validation? And you THINK you really want to feel secure... but you don't?

Inspired by Carolyn Elliot from existential kink, with the love part at the end, written by me, Eleanor Evans Medina

Here is a wonderful practice to help get into the subconscious for what those thoughts of self sabotage are actually giving you! As Carolyn Eliott explains in the book Existential Kink, "having is evidence of wanting," so for some reason you want to be burr-aiding yourself like this. You wouldn't do it, or be experiencing this, if you and your subconscious didn't want it.

"Until you make the unconscious, conscious, it will rule your life and you will call it fate." - Carl Jung

Take a few breaths and get to work to uncover what really might be going on deep down.

1) Take a piece of paper and write a variation of the following:

"Dear [whatever stands for divinity for you, e.g. universe, unknown, spirit, mystery, god] I absolutely refuse having _____________(write the thing you actually say you want)
because I deeply fear _______________________ .

2) Write at least twenty fears that come up for you and try to do it as fast as you can, without overly overthinking the process.

3) If possible, read this list out to someone you trust and who is willing to witness you. Once you do, have the other person simply affirm you by saying "thank you for sharing". If there is a particularly charged fear, you can do the process all over again with that fear as the main, headliner focus.


Note: Carolyn suggests turning any "other focused" fears, e.g. "I am afraid that they will hate me" into personal sensations that you are unwilling to have, e.g. I am afraid that I am unwilling to feel the sensation of other people hating me".

The reason you do this is because the fear inventory is about uncovering YOUR internal blocks and fears.

4) Now, close your eyes and take a few deep breaths. Maybe shake your body and release some energy. It is now time to focus on LOVE. Go back through each of these fears and respond with what unconditional love would say. Write a variation of the following:

Write: Dear [Source, God, Universe...] Unconditional love says...

5) Do this practice as often as necessary i.e. until you can feel a shift, or pick an area in your life to focus on and consistently work through any fears that come up for a set amount of time. At some point you will notice how the same fears keep showing up - this is good and means you are starting to digging up some real gems, hehe. A great place to question how much these fears may be dictating your life in ways that aren't personally serving you.



You've got this!