Alongside this writing, I’m sharing a photo created by AI of me holding my younger self. This photo brings tears to my eyes. Something in me softened and broke open at the same time.

I am learning her.
I am learning who she was, who she still is, and what she needs from me now as the steady, constant adult in our life.

What a gift it is to bring her back in.

She was resilient, clever, determined, overwhelmed by all she could feel in her little body, unable to sit still, trying so hard, feeling most at home in nature, and such a sweetheart. She had instincts long before she had language. She made meaning out of what she could. She found ways to keep going. And she still carries wisdom I didn’t know I had access to until I began to turn toward her with gentleness.

Inviting her home is changing me.
It is changing the way I move through the world, the way I make decisions, the way I rest, the way I love.

It is also changing how I integrate all the different parts of myself now, as I grow older and as life continues to deepen me. Returning to her feels like returning to a root system I didn’t realize I had abandoned.

Inner child work is not about staying young.
It is about becoming whole.

Hello friends. Today I want to wander with you through a tender, transformative terrain: the landscape of your inner child.

In my work as a marriage and family therapist, so much of my approach is shaped by the rhythms of the natural world. The breath, the body, the seasons, the instinctive intelligence that moves through all living things. Inner child work mirrors these same rhythms, inviting us to return to what is most essential inside ourselves.

When I speak about inner child work, I’m not talking about a lofty or faraway idea. I am talking about something alive. A presence within you that remembers wonder, sensitivity, courage, pain, and truth.

The Earth holds her old stories in rings of trees, in riverbeds, in shifting light. And we hold ours, too. When we choose to meet our inner child, we return to those living layers within ourselves.

Let this be a slow read. Like tracing your fingers along moss on a damp log or standing barefoot in cool dirt. You don’t have to practice anything as you read. Just listen, and allow whatever rises to rise.

Breath as the Threshold

Before we meet the inner child, we begin with breath. Not breath as a technique, but as a reminder.

You are here.
Right now.
In this body.

Deep breathing, in through the nose and out through the mouth, becomes your internal ground. The Earth breathes this way too, releasing warmth as evening falls and drawing moisture inward before rain. Our bodies know these same rhythms.

Research supports this ancient wisdom. Slow, diaphragmatic breathing supports vagal regulation and helps the body shift out of fight-or-flight so emotional processing becomes more accessible (Zaccaro et al., 2018). When you breathe deeply, you prepare the soil for inner work.

Finding the Body’s Quiet Wisdom

Inner child work invites us to trust the wisdom beneath our thinking mind. Not the mind that organizes everything, but the deeper knowing inside the belly. The same instinctual intelligence that guides a plant toward sunlight or roots toward water.

Interoception research shows that tuning into bodily sensation improves emotional understanding and supports regulation (Farb et al., 2015). Inner child work taps into this somatic intelligence.

Your body remembers.
Your nervous system remembers.
Your inner child is the part of you that still carries these memories, instincts, and unmet needs.

You don’t need to be skilled at visualization. You don’t need years of practice. You just need curiosity and a willingness to slow down.

Let the Senses Lead You Back

Your inner child may show up with intensity. With subtlety. With silence. All of it is welcome.

When emotions feel too big or unclear, grounding the body can keep you connected without becoming overwhelmed. You might try:

• Squeezing your knees
• Clasping your hands
• Resting both palms on your belly
• Taking a slow walk to create gentle bilateral rhythm

These gestures act like anchors, much like holding a warm stone in your hand reminds you of solidity.

Bilateral stimulation, used in EMDR, helps the brain process emotional material by engaging both hemispheres (Shapiro, 2018). You don’t need formal EMDR training to benefit from simple bilateral movement. Walking, tapping, or gentle swaying can support your nervous system in integrating emotion.

Think of it as a rhythm your body already knows. The hush of trees moving in wind. The ebb and flow of waves.

Meeting the Many Children Within

We are not shaped by one inner child. We are shaped by many versions of ourselves:

• the baby who needed softness
• the toddler discovering their voice
• the school-aged child forming beliefs
• the teenager navigating identity and belonging
• the young adult learning how to survive

Each one holds their own stories, joys, and wounds.

Often one of these inner children steps forward during this work. You might sense a feeling, an age, a memory, or simply an energy. You may feel nothing at first. That is completely okay.

You might imagine opening a door inside yourself and saying,
“I’m here. I’m listening.”

There is no forcing. No pressure. Trust comes on its own time.

How to Begin a Conversation

Inner child work is relational. It is not about fixing or controlling the child. It is about presence, warmth, curiosity, and listening.

You might begin gently:
“This is me. I’m here with you.”

Then ask simple, open questions:

What’s going on for you?
How are you feeling?
What do you need right now?

Your inner child may answer through sensations, emotions, words, memories, movement, or quiet. Silence is still communication.

The Earth rarely speaks in thunder. Sometimes she speaks in one bird call at dawn or a single blade of grass pressing through concrete. Your inner child often speaks in the same quiet, steady way.

Integration: Letting the Whole Self Breathe

Inner child work is not about living in the past. It is about weaving the tenderness of the child with the capacity of the adult.

You are not just your inner child.
You are not just your adult self.
You are the whole forest.

Your inner child carries creativity, truth, sensitivity.
Your adult self carries steadiness, discernment, and choice.

Integration happens when these parts collaborate. When your adult self becomes the protective, attuned presence your child always deserved.

Closing the Conversation with Care

When your time with your inner child feels complete, gently acknowledge them.
Thank them.
Let them know you will return.

Consistency creates internal safety.

As you arrive back in your surroundings, let your breath deepen. Stretch, roll your shoulders, feel the ground beneath you. Honor yourself for choosing tenderness over urgency, curiosity over avoidance.

What the Research Says

Inner child work is a therapeutic practice with emerging research behind it.

A study in the Journal of Counseling Psychology found that inner child focused interventions significantly reduce anxiety and depression while increasing self-compassion and resilience (Pascual-Leone et al., 2020).

Emotion-focused and experiential therapies show that tending to unmet developmental needs strengthens emotional regulation and supports long-term well-being.

Bilateral stimulation, central to EMDR, helps process emotional memories and stabilize the nervous system (Shapiro, 2018).

This is real work. Evidence-based work. Deeply human work.

The Ongoing Journey

Inner child work is not something you check off a list. It is a living relationship. Some days you’ll feel open. Some days resistant. Some days your inner child will run toward you, and other days they may hide.

All of it belongs.
Healing moves with the pace of nature, not urgency.

If this work feels overwhelming or if you want to go deeper, support from a somatic or Internal Family Systems therapist can be invaluable. No one is meant to navigate their inner landscape alone, especially when trauma or old patterns surface.

If you are curious to explore this more, The Makaranda Method offers guided meditations, somatic practices, and one-on-one support to help you get to know all the parts of you, including the inner child. My team and I would be honored to walk with you.


​Thank you for being here. May these words open a little more space inside you for tenderness, curiosity, and the parts of you that have been waiting to be seen.